Hello!
It’s that time of year when many people make New Year’s Resolutions. I wanted to share some thoughts with you on that, in case you might find them valuable.
Have you found that you feel very excited and motivated making new year’s resolutions? Have you also found that you feel somewhat disillusioned or deflated by the end of the year if you don’t reach those goals?
Don’t worry, you are not alone. And the solution to that could be to take a different approach, which I’m about to share with you. It may or may not resonate with you, but if you are curious then read on:).
The way I approach resolutions is by setting SOFT and GENERAL goals. This is because life is SO unpredictable, and we actually have very little control over it. We can get derailed from our goals by so many different life circumstances, due to a sudden sickness, an accident, a family issue, unforeseen financial drawbacks, etc. Life is just FULL of the unknown (both good and bad, of course)
As such, I like to set general goals without getting too attached to them. This takes the pressure off of me and also solves the issue of feeling disappointed at the end of the year, because I don’t feel like a failure if I don’t achieve EVERYTHING I wanted to in the amount of time I hoped for. Don’t get me wrong! I still set goals and I still do my best to achieve them, but I also take into consideration the fact that life goes the way it does and I’m here to flow with it, rather than try to control it (and then feel disappointed if things don’t go as planned).
Quite often when we sit down to write out our New Year’s Resolutions, we write them in this fantasy, almost unrealistic, state of mind. I am not telling you not dream big(I dream big all the time!). I am just explaining the typical frame of mind we are in when we write out resolutions. We just forget that life throws curve-balls at us and that it’s full of surprises. That’s all:).
So far in my life, I have achieved many of the goals I set out for myself, but very often it did not happen in the timing (or even in the way!) I expected them to. This actually makes life more interesting, adventurous and magical. Some things happened way slower than I expected (for example, they took several years instead of just one) and others happened way faster than I expected! I want to mention, though, that when things took longer to achieve, it was for a reason. There were things I needed to learn that I wouldn’t have learned had I “achieved what I wanted in the timeline set out in my limited mind”. When things took more time, it was also meant for me to evolve on deeper levels. This is why I trust life more and more as I get older. Because things really do happen on their own timing (for our highest good) and if we can just jump into the river of life and learn to flow with it more, life becomes more vibrant and exciting. Also, we don’t feel so down on ourselves when we don’t achieve what our (somewhat limited) brains wanted us to achieve in a certain period of time.
My life feels richer and more alive (pun intended;) ever since I started setting more flexible goals for myself. I also started focusing more on how I want to feel rather than on the specific things I want to achieve. Ironically, setting goals based on how I want to feel does not inhibit me from reaching specific goals- quite the opposite actually! It’s just that that is actually what really matters most at the end of the day. Because when we really think about it, we tend to set goals because they give us a certain feeling.
So thisyear, maybe take a softer approach to setting your new year’s resolutions. Forexample, if you want to lose weight, rather than saying:
“I want to lose 20 pounds by the March 20th”, say:
“I want to feel healthier, lighter and more energetic than ever this year, whateverthat may look like”.
Or, you can stick to your specific goal but frame it more like this:
“This year I want to lose 20 pounds healthily and sustainably. But, if I havevaluable things to learn before I lose those 20 pounds, I am open to taking aslong as it takes to lose them, and I trust that the path life has for me toachieve this goal is the most intelligent one and the most beneficial to myinner-most being”.
You canabsolutely set your intention but just remember to allow for flexibility and toadapt your goals as need be based on what life puts in your path.
That’s all Ihave for now:). I will share more about how Ipractically achieve my goals another time. I would love to hear your feedback/thoughts on this so feel free to message me if you are so inspired!
Have a great day!
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